The Torah helps us become “Shomer Torah”, applying the Creator’s principles to our lives without being religious. Most people don’t like to read the book of Leviticus, saying that it is too complicated, it relates to the Temple and the Korbanot, the offerings and to holiness. The Creator doesn’t want to complicate our lives; He’s not asking us to follow literal rules but wants us to understand why He gave them to us. Neither is He asking for blind obedience; He wants us to be free to approach Him and to dialogue with Him, which is why He gave us Bechirah Chofshit, Free Will.
The first part of this double parashah is about the Shabbat for the land. We had already been told about observing the seventh day for man and animals. The number seven represents a new cycle. The land also needed to rest after the seventh year, which is difficult if you are a farmer. How would you survive? This is the process of going from emunah (faith) to bitachon (trust). God wanted His people to learn to trust Him. People confuse the two, thinking that faith means blind dependence on the Creator, but He is teaching us that with freedom of choice comes responsibility. In the sixth year, the people would need to prepare themselves. In the 7th year, the land would provide enough for everyone since the land keeps producing. In the 8th year, the land would be prepared to harvest its new crop in the 9th year. This is how we trusted Him to provide for us.
We are all dependent upon something. We don’t know whether we will live tomorrow, but we trust that we will. That’s like trusting in the Creator. It doesn’t mean that we don’t have to prepare ourselves, or that we are blindly dependent, as many religions teach. GOD gave us capabilities and wants us to work for our sustenance. The farmer understands this. To have a good harvest, he has to work hard, but He depends upon God for the weather. Religions say that our faith can move mountains, but that does not mean that we can twist the Creator’s arm to do our will. The Creator first tells us that people and animals need to rest on the Shabbat, the 7th day; then the land needs to rest every seven years, called the Shmittah. Finally, we are given what I call a “universal Shabbat”, the Yovel, the Jubilee. These are the Creator times of rest, preparation and renewal, a cosmological rest and renewal, because everything goes back to zero, and we get to start again!
The second part of this parashah, Bechukotai, is considered to be the most challenging section in the Torah, here in Leviticus and then repeated in Devarim. It deals with the Tochecha – תֹכֵחָה, although translated as “Curses”, I prefer to call them “Warnings”. Here, God will address the people about an urgent matter that will affect their lives.
In the 1980s, when I started to work as a counsellor, the notion of “tough love” was becoming very popular. This was in reaction to the teachings of Dr. Spock, which had greatly influenced the parents of the 50s and 60s. His philosophy was that discipline was bad for children because they could no longer be who they are, and that it could destroy their “free spirit”. Today, sadly, young parents have bought this lie and have lost the capability to discipline their children. The Creator speaks about this in Mishlei (Proverbs)13:24, where He tells us that if we love our children, we must correct them. “He who spares his rod hates his son; but he who loves him corrects him diligently”. It’s too late when they are adults. If a young tree is planted crooked, it is impossible to straighten it when it’s older.
Dr. Spock told us that children are like adults, and all we need to do is sit down and reason with them; as if words alone can convince them how to do what is right and ] as if their child would say, “I am sorry, I did wrong, I’ll never do it again”. We show true love for our children when we correct or discipline them. Proverbs 29:15 says that a child who behaves poorly is a shame to their parents. When a child is misbehaving, and the parents stand by and do nothing, they are doing a great disservice not only to their child but also to the community.
Two young people in the congregation were acting up, so I called them and their parents to my office. The parents responded timidly when confronted and laughed, saying that their kids don’t listen when they correct them. One of the children insulted me in front of the parents, and they said nothing. I told them that if their child didn’t respect authority now, when they become an adult, they won’t respect any authority and could end up in jail. That is exactly what happened. Children have forgotten who their parents are. We are not our children’s friends; we are supposed to be parents who are responsible for directing our children onto the right path. Children are children, and parents are parents. When they become adults, life’s lessons become a lot tougher. The Fifth Commandment tells us to “honor father and mother…”
What does this have to do with this parashah? Our society is suffering from the problem that everyone, every minority, is fighting for their rights. It’s hard to speak out because we’re accused of stepping on someone’s rights. The youth today is so spoiled. The people of goodwill are being kidnapped by these monsters and their small special interest groups. They don’t understand that our rights end when the rights of others begin.
It is like the Creator speaking to Israel, reminding them of when He brought us out of Egypt with His hands. At the beginning, we were like a baby who needed constant care, then little by little, we had to learn to grow up. When things go wrong, who can we blame? The children? It’s because the parents are not doing their job. It’s easy to point a finger, but training begins at home. God began by teaching His children what to do…how to choose what company to keep; He knew how easily we could be influenced; that we were not strong enough and needed reinforcement.
In the 80s, when “Tough Love” began, it was because there were crises in so many families. The youth were out of control because the parents were not allowing them to grow up and face the consequences of their actions. Instead, they would continuously bail them out. I was counselling a couple whose child was involved in drugs. The parents constantly bailed him out until one day, they said, “No more.” When the young man robbed a house to pay for drugs, they asked me what to do. I asked them if they had ever allowed him to take responsibility for his actions, and told them that if they loved their son, they had to allow him to face the consequences. He was sent to jail, and at the beginning he cursed his parents, and didn’t want to speak to them. They wept and blamed me. Three years later, the son called his parents asking for forgiveness. He now understood that he was wrong and thanked them for allowing him to go through this. Tough love is important, and this is what the “Tochecha” was about. The Creator warned us that He would withdraw His Presence from us, His protection from us, when we were disobedient. He doesn’t punish us, rather, He allows us to experience the consequences of our actions.
That doesn’t mean that the Creator abandons His children. We read in Leviticus 26:43-45, “Abandoned, the country will keep its Sabbaths, as it lies deserted in their absence, and they will have to accept the punishment for their guilt, since they detested my ordinances (chukkim), and rejected my statutes (mishpatim). Yet, despite all this, when they are in the land of their enemies, I shall not so utterly reject or detest them as to destroy them completely and break my covenant with them; for I am the LORD their God.For their sake, I shall remember the covenant I made with those first generations that I brought out of Egypt while other nations watched, so that I should be their God, I, the LORD. These are the ordinances and regulations and instructions (Torah) that יהוה established, through Moses, on Mount Sinai, with the Israelite people.“
Despite Israel’s behavior, the Creator would always be faithful to them.
And Jeremiah 31: 34, 35 and 36 says: “ Thus said GOD, Who established the sun for light by day, the laws of moon and stars for light by night, Who stirs up the sea into roaring waves, Whose name is GOD of Hosts: If these ordinances depart from before Me, says the LORD, then the seed of Israel shall also cease from being a nation before Me forever. Thus, declares the LORD: If heaven above can be measured, and the foundations of the earth searched out beneath, then will I also cast off all the seed of Israel for all that they have done.”
Our Creator is faithful to the end; we are the ones who fail. He never abandons us; we are the ones who turn away from Him. It is time we apply tough love even among ourselves. It is time that we stop accepting others’ misbehaviour or allowing others to abuse us. It is one thing to be decent and polite, but quite another to accept abuse.
We are all responsible not only for our behavior but also for the behavior of our community. It needs to start with us. If we don’t respect ourselves, how can we give respect to our neighbor or even venerate our Creator? As Shomer Torah, we have a very important role to fulfill. It is not about the externals, how we dress, but about the heart, kavanah, our intentions, because the written Torah, the basic Ten Commandments, lives within us.
Next week we will celebrate Shavuot, when the Torah, the Word of God, was given to us. It is the basic constitution for humanity, instructing us on how we relate to one another with decency and justice. As I mentioned, everything begins in the home. It starts with us as individuals and projects outward.
Those of you who have small children, be careful what you teach them. Remember, our actions speak louder than words. Are we being good parents, or are we parents who don’t care about the behavior of our children? When we are permissive or liberal, it shows that we don’t care about our children or our community.
At the time of this message, the situation in Israel is extremely difficult. War is on the horizon, and it is getting worse. Read Leviticus 26 very carefully and ask yourself, “Am I following the world or the Creator? Who are my masters? The Haftarah, Jeremiah 17, tells us, “Cursed by the man who trusts in man and blessed be the man who trusts in GOD. Who can know the heart of man; how deceitful it is? I, the Creator, know the heart of man and I weigh their hearts and give to them accordingly.”
It is not the holy façade we put on that matters, but how we are with the Creator. Are we one person when we come to the congregation and another at home? The best thing is to have only one face, better than having a split personality. Let people see us for who we are instead of playing the game of being a religious goody-goody or holier than thou. That only leads to hypocrisy. The Creator wants us to first be honest with ourselves before we can be honest with our neighbor or be able to elevate the name of the Creator. Do you think that the Creator should exercise tough love with us?
On a more positive note, more and more I have seen that we in our community are learning and growing; young parents are taking responsibility for their children. When they become adults, they will be grateful to you for the discipline, knowing that it was because they were loved.
Shabbat Shalom
Rabbi Netanel ben Yochanan (Ranebi)